Wedding Etiquette

Wedding Etiquette 

Etiquette Tips for Creating Your Wedding Guest List

Creating a wedding guest list can be extremely stressful because you may be worried about hurting someone’s feelings. Here are some tips on how to create your wedding guest list:

·      Figure out your budget and know how much money you can spend on food at the reception

·      The bride and groom need to each make a list of friends, co-workers, and family

·      The parents need to make a list also

·      Break down each of the list with “must invite”, “should invite”, “could invite” – this will prioritize each person in case the list needs to be cut due to budget (remember it is very important to stick to your budget!

·      As a general rule, always invite family first, less close friends, then co-workers

·      If you are planning to invite single friends or family members, remember your budget before offering the option of bringing a guest; but if your single friend or family member is in a long term relationship, etiquette does call for inviting their significant other even if they are not married.

·      Don’t feel obligated to invite co-workers but if your budget allows, there is an unwritten rule that says to invite co-workers and business acquaintances

·      Deciding whether to invite children can be a tough decision to make. If you are having a black tie affair, you may not want a lot of children especially if it is at night and children tend to become tired and cranky. If you are having a casual wedding in the afternoon, the more children the merrier, but again remember your budget when considering on whether or not to invite children. If you are having young children as your flower girl or ring bearer, remember to invite them! If you or your fiancée has children, they should be at your wedding and if immediate family; sisters or brothers have children, they should be invited at your wedding also!

The Etiquette of Writing and Addressing Wedding Invitations

• Spell out professional titles, such as Doctor and Reverend, and all military titles (General, Major, and so on.) for names on your invitations. Acceptable abbreviations are the nonprofessional titles of Mr., Mrs., and Ms. Don’t include academic titles, such as PhD, on the invitation unless the person is a minister with a theological degree. Nicknames should not be used; address David instead of Dave, Jeffrey instead of Jeff, and so on
• Spell out street names, such as Avenue, Boulevard, and Street, on all invitations. Also spell out days of the week, dates, months, times, and numbers in addresses for invitations to black tie and formal weddings. For invitations to semiformal and informal weddings, you can use numbers freely.
• Do not include gift registry information or gift suggestions on your invitations. And never, ever, handwrite anything on the invitation.
• Address the inside envelope with exactly whom you’re inviting. For example, writing “Mr. and Mrs. ” tells your guests that just the Mr. and Mrs. are invited, not their children .
• When inviting single friends and family members; address it as Mr., Ms., or Miss and only write and guest if your budget allows. If your budget does not allow, tell the guest.

Etiquette of who pays for what?

As mentioned previously, budget plays an important part of who pays for what.  Another important factor is if the wedding is formal or informal. It is not like it was decades ago, there is nothing that is set in stone; but there is a general guideline;

The Brides Family

            Wedding gown, veil, headpiece and accessories

            Flower bouquets for the bride and the bridesmaids

            Flowers for the ceremony and the reception

            Canopy/Carpet/Candelabras/Candles

Items for the ceremony such as sand and glasses for a sand ceremony, wine and glasses for a break the wine ceremony, etc.

Rentals for the ceremony or reception

Invitations, Announcements, Programs

Napkins, Matches, Printed items

Fee for the venue

Band/DJ/Photographer/Video Photographer

Caterer

Wedding cake

Wedding Favors

Bags of rice

The Bride

            Wedding ring for the groom

            Wedding gift for the groom

            Bridesmaid’s gifts

The Groom

            Wedding ring for the bride

            Wedding gift for the bride

            Groomsmen/Usher gifts

            Corsages for the Mothers and Grandmothers

            Boutonnieres for the groom, groomsmen and ushers

            Marriage License

            Wedding Officiant

            Limousine Service

            Honeymoon

Bridal Party

Dresses, Tuxedos, shoes, and accessories 

Children in the Bridal Party

         Their parents pay for dresses, Tuxedos, shoes, and accessories 

Out of town guests

            Their own accommodations

Again who pays for what is not set in stone! It is not the same as it was decades ago. Today, the Grooms family helps to pay for many of the grooms expenses, the bride and groom share many of the expenses, and sometimes the brides family pays for more than is listed above. The key is for the bride and groom to see if they can afford to pay for any or all the expenses then ask their families to see who will pay for what.

Wedding Tipping

Tipping has always been a personal expression of gratitude for service given and appreciated. Many times gratuities are added to the final bill for caterers. It is considered proper to tip the servers, sometimes their tip is already in the contracted price. Other people who should be tipped if not already in the contracted price include catering managers, banquet managers, bartenders and bridal consultants. The customary amount to tip a server is 15%. If someone has gone above and beyond, additional tips may be added even if the final bill includes gratuities.

Limousine Driver usually get tipped 15%, your contract may already include the gratuity.  Photographers, florist, musicians, officiants and bakers are generally tipped for extra special services 

How To Write a Thank You Card

·       Thank you cards should be personalized

·       Never preprint thank you cards

·       Thank you cards should be handwritten

·       Send a thank you card to thank people for gifts, arranging bridal showers, and bachelor parties

·       Mention what the gift is in the thank you card

·       Thank you cards should be sent for shower gifts within ten days of the party

·       Thank you cards should be send for wedding gifts within two weeks after returning from the honeymoon

·       Use blue or blank ink 

Always and Forever Florida Weddings
Reverend Arlene Ponack
alwaysandforeverfloridaweddings.com
alwaysandforeverflweddings@gmail.com
(407) 271-2430