When
planning your wedding, there are things that are nice to know, like
that mermaid silhouettes are all the rage or that purple is making a
comeback. Then, there are things you need to know -- advice so essential
that any bride who's lucky enough to hear it thinks, "I'm so glad
someone told me that!" If you're wondering whether there's something you
may have missed (or even if you've got everything under control), check
out our indispensable planning secrets.
Get
a grip on the approximate number of guests you'll invite before
settling on a venue. This will ensure there's ample space for your crew.
As a rule of thumb, allow for 25 to 30 square feet per guest. That may
seem like a lot, but it's not if you count the space you'll need for the
tables, bustling waiters, the band, and the dance floor. >
Know
ahead of time if your wedding date falls on the same day as a trade
conference, charity walk, or other local event that could affect traffic
and hotel room availability.
>
Click here for wedding dates to avoid.
3. Listen to Mother Nature
Heed
the weather and other potential annoyances. Guests have been known to
skip out early from hotter-than-hot summer tent weddings and improperly
heated winter loft receptions. Bugs (gnats, deerflies, and no-see-ums)
also swarm in certain areas during certain seasons. Consider renting
pest control tanks to alleviate the problem or including bug repellent
in guests' gift bags. And if you want a sunset ceremony, make sure you
know when to say your vows by checking SunriseSunset.com.
4. Check Your Credit
Take
advantage of the high cost of weddings and sign up for a credit card
with a rewards program. Whether it gives you airline miles or great
shopping deals, consolidating all wedding-related purchases to this card
will help you accumulate thousands of rewards points (which could be
used for your honeymoon).
5. Pay It Forward
Let one vendor lead you to another. Your
wedding photographer can tell you which florist's blooms really pop, and your reception manager should know which band packs the dance floor.
Let
one vendor lead you to another. Your photographer can tell you which
florist's blooms really pop, and your reception manager should know
which band packs the dance floor.
6. Lighten Your List
The easiest way to trim your
wedding budget?
Cut your guest list. Remember, half of your wedding expenses go to
wining and dining your guests. If it's costing you $100 per person,
eliminating one table of 10 can save you $1,000.
7. Ask and You Might Receive
Request
an extra hour for cocktails or for your band to throw in that Frank
Sinatra sound-alike before you sign on the dotted line. Most vendors
would rather secure the reservation than nickel-and-dime you early on
and turn you off. Later on, though, they may have less of a motive to
meet you halfway.
8. Make a Meal Plan
Another
unforeseen expense? Feeding your wedding day crew. Before you sign the
contracts, make sure you're not required to serve the same meal to your
vendors that guests will receive. Otherwise, you could be paying for 20
additional lobster tails. Choose a less expensive (but equally hearty)
meal for them instead. You will have to let your
wedding caterer
know a couple of days before the wedding exactly how many vendors you
need to feed (don't forget photography assistants and band roadies) and
what you want them to serve.
9. Get Organizationally Focused
In
a three-ring binder, compile all your correspondences with vendors,
notes you make during meetings, and photos or tear sheets from magazines
you want vendors to see. Set up a special email address dedicated to
your wedding, and store important vendor numbers in your cell phone.
10. Tend to Your Bar
Typically,
you need one bartender per 50 guests to keep the line at a minimum. But
if you're serving a signature cocktail that cannot be made ahead of
time (or in large quantities), consider adding an extra server
designated to this task.
11. Leave Some Room in Your Wallet
Your
wedding budget should follow this formula: 48 to 50 percent of total
budget to reception; 8 to 10 percent for flowers; 8 to 10 percent for
attire; 8 to 10 percent for entertainment/music; 10 to 12 percent for
photo/video; 2 to 3 percent for invites; 2 to 3 percent for gifts; and 8
percent for miscellaneous items like a wedding coordinator. It's
essential to allocate an extra 5 to 10 percent of your money for
surprise expenses like printing extra invites because of mistakes,
additional tailoring needs, umbrellas for a rainy day, and ribbons for
the wedding programs. Go to TheKnot.com/budgeter for an interactive
budget allows you to add your own items.
12. Don't Be Afraid to Ask
Your
wedding vendors should be your go-to, most-trusted experts during the
planning process. When working with them, you should feel free to really
explore what it is you want -- maybe it's serving a late-night snack
instead of a first course or doing a bridal portrait session rather than
an engagement session. The bottom line is that you should feel like you
can have an honest conversation with them about what it is you want.
Their job will be to tell you what you can and can't make work given
your wedding budget.
13. Wait for a Date
Sometimes,
last-minute planning can work in your favor. The closer your date, the
more bargaining power you have. Since most people book their wedding
sites at least six months in advance, calling for open dates two months
prior to your desired time can save you up to 25 percent. And, Friday
and Sunday weddings should cost about 30 percent less than Saturday
weddings.
14. Manage the Mail
Of course you want
the perfect stamps for your wedding invitations. But not all stamps are
widely available at every post office, especially in large quantities.
Save yourself scouting time by ordering them online at USPS.com. And be
sure to weigh your invitation and all the additional paper products
before you send them out so you can attach the right amount of postage.
Ask your stationer about the need for additional postage for odd-shaped
envelopes.
15. Prepare for Rejection
Know that as a
rule, about 30 percent of the people you invite won't attend.
Naturally, this depends on the location of your wedding (destination
weddings are harder to attend), how many out-of-towners are on your
list, and the timing of the event (some guests may have annual holiday
or summer plans). On the other hand, everyone could accept -- knowing
your wedding will be the can't-miss party of the year!
16. Make a Uniform Kids Policy
You
have four choices: You can welcome children with open arms; you can
decide to have an "adults only" wedding; you can include immediate
family only; or, you can hire a child care service to provide day care
either at the reception space, in a hotel room, or in a family member's
home. To prevent hurt feelings, it's wise to avoid allowing some
families to bring children while excluding others (unless, of course,
the children are in your bridal party).
17. Prioritize Your People
Pare
down your guest list with the "tiers of priority" trick. Place
immediate family, the bridal party, and best friends on top of the list;
follow with aunts, uncles, cousins, and close friends you couldn't
imagine not being there. Under that, list your parents' friends,
neighbors, coworkers, and so on. If you need to make some cuts, start
from the bottom until you reach your ideal number.
18. Take It One Step at a Time
Put
together a wedding planning schedule and do things one by one, in a
logical order, so you don't take on too much too fast and end up with
everything snowballing around you. Don't hire any vendors before you've
confirmed your date; don't design your cake before you've envisioned
your flowers; and don't book a band before you've settled on a space.
19. No Ring, No Bring
If
your guest list is bursting at the seams, assess the plus-one scenario.
Do a faux seating chart in your mind, and imagine whom your single pal
would sit with. If it's a table of singles that she knows pretty well,
then you're all set. If it's a table of couples (making her the odd one
out) or if it's a table of singles where she won't know anyone, consider
bending the rules. If asked why you're not allowing single friends to
bring guests, size constraints or your parents' never-ending guest list
are always good fallback white lies.
20. Release Rooms
As
soon as you have picked a date, start to look for hotels in a wide
variety of price points. Many hotels allow you to reserve rooms for
guests under a special wedding block and a reduced rate. You can then
release any unbooked rooms a month prior to your wedding. If the hotels
you contact insist upon contracts with cancellation penalties, just say
no -- you don't want to be responsible for rooms you can't fill.
21. Provide Accurate Driving Directions
Make
sure guests know where they're going. As easy as online map programs
are to use, sometimes the directions are wrong -- or there's a quicker,
less traffic-prone route to take. Ask your ceremony and reception sites
for printouts of recommended driving directions, which they often keep
in stock for weddings and will give to you for free, and test out the
routes yourself.
22. Keep a Paper Trail
Get any
nonstandard changes to your agreements in writing or send the vendor a
confirmation email saying, "Hello, just confirming that you'll keep the
venue open until 2 a.m. versus midnight." Don't take anyone on his word
-- by the time the big day rolls around, your contact may no longer be
working there to vouch for you.
23. Schedule the Setup
You
must make sure there's ample time for setup. If you're renting a venue
and bringing in outside help, ask, "What time can people come in to set
things up?" Preston Bailey, author of
Preston Bailey's Fantasy Weddings, recommends seeing if they can do it the day before, or at the very least the entire wedding day, before the event starts.
24. Learn About Marriage Licenses
You
can check your state's license requirements online, but confirm with a
call to the county clerk's office to see when they're open. Even if it's
open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., they may issue marriage licenses only
during slower times like, say, Thursdays from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. Give a
copy of your marriage license to your mom or your maid of honor (just in
case you lose yours during the final days before your wedding).
25. Go Over Ground Rules
Be
prepared! Ask the manager of the house of worship or site where you'll
be married for the list of restrictions (if any). For instance, is flash
photography or bare shoulders prohibited? Or, if you're exchanging vows
outdoors, are you allowed to plant tent stakes in the lawn (which is
often a no-no)?
26. Classify Your Cash
Wedding
budgets are all about balance. Start your budget planning by making a
list of the crucial details, like the music, your wedding gown, the
invitations, the flowers, and the photographer, and assign a number to
each -- one being the most important and three being the least. Invest
your money in all your number ones and cut corners on your number
threes. (But everything can't fall into the number one category!) For
example, if a designer gown and fabulous food are what really matter,
you may have to choose simple invitations and smaller floral
arrangements.
27. Help Guests Pay Attention
Make
sure your guests can see -- and hear. If people are seated farther than
15 rows back from your ceremony altar or podium, consider renting a mic
and a riser. This could range anywhere from $50 to $100, depending on
the equipment used. You'll need to coordinate the delivery and setup
with your ceremony space, so put your wedding planner or best man in
charge of this task.
28. Write Down Your Digits
Carry
an emergency contact sheet on your wedding day. Keep the paper with
names and phone numbers of all your vendors in your purse -- it may come
in handy in case your limo driver gets lost or you decide you'd like
your photographer to take some behind-the-scenes shots.
29. Call the Fashion Police
Don't
go dress shopping on your own -- all the gowns will start to look the
same after a while and it will be harder to recall which style you
really loved. But be careful about who you do bring. If your mom or
sibling can't make the trip, ask a friend who is truly honest. This is
the time when you really need to know which dress looks best.
30. Be Realistic With Your Time
When
it comes down to the last month of your planning (and when you're
particularly harried) look at your mile long to-do list and cut three
things. Yes, cut three things. Not crucial things that you just don't
feel like doing, such as picking a processional song or confirming final
details with all of your vendors. Eliminate only the over-the-top tasks
like hand-painting "Just Married" signs, or baking cookies for all of
the welcome bags. Make a pledge to not think about them ever again.
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