Budget Honeymoons: 15 Budget Honeymoon Ideas reposted from the knot

15 simple ways to save money on your honeymoon

Photo: David Miller/Four Seasons Resort Hualalai

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No one wants to skimp on their honeymoon. Posh accommodations, intimate meals, and soothing massages rank high on the wish list of virtually every newlywed, but most people don't have an unlimited expense account. No need to take the backpack-and-hostel route -- just focus on these five areas to cut down your honeymoon costs.

The Planning

A little legwork early in your engagement goes a long way toward balancing your honeymoon budget.
1. Consider a travel agent
It's easy to find a flight and book a hotel over the Internet, so the idea of working with a travel agent might seem antiquated. While it's not for everyone, Tim Leffel, author of Make Your Travel Dollars Worth a Fortune, observes that a travel agent can save money for those who don't have a specific destination in mind. "If you just want to go to a nice Caribbean island and stay in a hotel on the beach, agents can often find deals that you might not run across yourself." So if your heart's set on the Four Seasons in Nevis, use the Web. If you're open to any number of islands and resorts, see what a travel agent has to offer.
2. Use frequent flier miles
If you've charged wedding expenses, your honeymoon is the perfect time to cash in all the bonus points you racked up on your credit card. Free airfare is great, of course, and even if you don't have enough miles for that, you can still go for an upgrade from coach to first class, allowing you to begin and end your honeymoon in style.
3. Start a honeymoon registry
As a traditional part of attending your wedding, guests will give you gifts, and the majority of them will shop straight from your wedding registry. If you have ample linens and china's just not your style, set up a honeymoon registry and have guests pay for part (or even all) of your trip in lieu of traditional gifts. Sites like thebigday.com or honeymoonwishes.com offer registries for a small percentage of the total gift. You can also register at resorts like Marriott or Disney.

The Destination

An open mind while picking a honeymoon spot gives you a better chance to find a good deal.
4. Take advantage of shoulder seasons
Every destination has a high and low season -- during the high season there are crowds and high prices, while the low season is cheaper (usually because the weather is lousy). Shoulder seasons, however, are right on the cusp of high and low, so the prices are more reasonable because there's far less demand and the weather is still appealing. Shoulder season for the Caribbean starts right after spring break. "Mid-April to mid-June is a fantastic time to hit the Caribbean," Leffel says. (Should you prefer a European honeymoon, look into the late spring and early fall.)
5. Go where the dollar hasn't deflated
The poor currency exchange can sabotage your budget. The dollar has become increasingly puny compared to the euro, so seek a destination where your money still has some worth. Leffel recommends heading anywhere in Spanish-speaking Latin America -- from Mexico down to Chile -- or check out our sidebar for the best budget honeymoons.
6. Consider an all-inclusive
One of the best reasons to honeymoon at an all-inclusive resort is that you have a clear estimate of how much your trip will cost and budget accordingly. Find out exactly what you're paying for and factor in a couple of meals at restaurants outside the resort, day trips, or other excursions that might not be included. Then you'll have a solid idea of how much you'll spend.

The Transportation

Getting from point A to point B can be the bulk of your bill, but there are easy ways to save.
7. Fly off-peak
Flights are less expensive on certain days of the week. If you're traveling domestic, fly on a Sunday to avoid business travelers. If you're going abroad, find a better deal by leaving on a Monday or Tuesday.
8. Ask if airport pickup is included
When you book a hotel, try to score a ride from the airport (some hotels offer complimentary transportation). If a taxi is your only option, hail a cab in an area of the airport designated for transportation rather than riding with some guy who sidles up at baggage claim and offers a lift.
9. Use mass transit
Unless you're renting a car, use mass transit as much as possible. Cab rides, while convenient, inevitably wreak havoc on your budget. Before you travel, familiarize yourself with your honeymoon spot's main modes of transportation, be it metro, tram, or bus. Saving money isn't the only benefit of mass transit -- in congested cities, the metro is very often the quickest way across town.

The Hotel

A dismal room can ruin a trip, but saving money doesn't have to mean staying in a dump.
10. Get a room with no view
Check any hotel's website and you'll find a range of room rates. A room's size and view are two factors that hike up the price. Cut your accommodation's cost by booking a room looking upon a slightly less attractive landscape. When you spend most of your time on the beach, you'll hardly notice whether your room has a view of the ocean or a garden, and the savings can be significant.
11. Investigate packages
If a hotel offers a "honeymoon package," Leffel advises taking a close look to see if it's really a money-saving deal. If the offer is six nights for the price of five, that's worthwhile. If the package brings an evening rose petal turndown service plus champagne for an added $200, it's cheaper to forgo the extras and book at the normal room rate.
12. Mention you're newlyweds
You can often leverage the fact you're on your honeymoon for special (and free) treatment. While there are no hard rules for the practice -- or guarantees the hotel will do anything -- it's worth telling the receptionist you'll be spending your first days of married life with them. We've heard of couples getting complimentary room upgrades. It's also worth dropping the h-word when you're at airport check-in, and any bartender's bound to offer a round on the house.

The Food

An extraordinary honeymoon requires great food and drink, but the costs of eating out add up. Learn how to maximize your meal money.
13. Stray from the hotel
A hotel's restaurant is definitely hassle-free dining, but that convenience often comes with a marked-up price. Consult a guide book for some other options.
14. Talk to locals
With some insider info, you'll find an unassuming fish stand in a Caribbean market or a hole-in-the-wall bistro on a European side street that serves the best meal of your entire trip. Ask the local baker, butcher, or fishmonger for their pick for the best bite in town -- chances are that it will be reasonably priced and utterly delicious.
15. Prepare a few meals
Making your own lunch doesn't have to lack romance. Go to the grocery store and stock up on sandwich ingredients, fruit, and other picnic goods. Trek to a secluded spot and enjoy a private lunch. You'll save money without missing out on the fond memories every honeymooner deserves.

10 Ways to Make Sure Your Wedding Isn't Boring reposted from the knot

Photo: Tanja Lippert Photography, Los Gatos

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Attending a wedding may be a privilege, but sometimes it's not always a pleasure. The last thing a bride and groom want is for their wedding guests to spend the reception checking their watches. Here are 10 tips to keep any wedding guest yawns at bay.

1. Make introductions at the rehearsal.

A wedding brings together two families and sets of friends -- which usually means a big group of people who don't know each other awkwardly attempting small talk. The solution? Invite relatives and out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner to break the ice, and introduce those who might have common interests. (That uncle who always loved Top Gun? Definitely link him to your fiance's fighter pilot cousin). By the time the wedding rolls around, your guests will have met in a more relaxed atmosphere the evening before and (hopefully) keep the conversations going at the reception.

2. Stick to the schedule.

No one expects things to run with military precision (especially when it comes to rushing your older relatives), but you don't want to force your guests to idle around while you take your formal wedding pictures. This is where the cocktail hour comes in. Set up a lounge or shady courtyard for your guests to mingle, and equip the area with snacks, drinks, plenty of places to sit, and even a little music to set the mood and keep the party atmosphere alive.

3. Don't let guests go hungry.

Two words: hors d'oeuvres. Even if you plan on serving a full dinner at your reception, it's a good idea to have a few nibbles for your guests to nosh on while they wait for you and your new spouse to make your grand entrance -- lest your guests get bored and cranky. Mini empanadas, soup shooters, vegetable skewers, even fried macaroni and cheese balls are all great options (go for one-bite appetizers so guests can chat while they snack). Your guests will be refreshed from the ceremony -- and grateful for the sustenance.

4. Plan an exit strategy.

If you really want guests to be able to enjoy themselves at your reception, arrange for transportation to get them home safely afterward. Some couples choose to throw their reception in a hotel banquet hall and block off rooms for their guests, while others hire a shuttle service to run throughout the night. This extra consideration gives guests the freedom to relax (drink) without worrying about getting home safely when the party wraps up.

5. Consider your venue.

Of course, your budget will be a huge factor in determining where you throw your wedding, but picking an interesting reception site can go a long way toward keeping guests entertained. Many science museums will let you rent out their exhibit areas, and zoos often have banquet areas with the animals in full view. Even an otherwise bland reception space can be dressed up with dramatic decor or specialty entertainment (like a photo booth), so be sure to talk to your site manager about your options.

6. Work your seating chart.

There's nothing more uncomfortable than being the one couple at a table where you don't know anyone and everyone else went to high school together -- particularly if you can see friends laughing it up five tables away. A well-played seating chart is a cost-free way to make sure your guests spend time with people they like -- or even to set them up with someone new!

7. Put a time limit on toasts.

Yes, it's nice to hear words of encouragement and well wishes, but unless your friends are moonlighting as stand-up comedians, an overly long toast can easily go from sentimental to excruciating. Limit the number and length of toasts to a few key guests (think: maid of honor, best man, your parents), and let everyone get back to the party.

8. Bring in the...clowns?

Remember that scary clown/magician from your eighth birthday party? Today's specialty performers are nothing like that. The options for wedding entertainment span from tricked-out DJs to belly dancers to singing waiters -- these people are pros at making sure weddings aren't boring.

9. Think beyond wedding cake.

Wedding cakes are still a staple, but consider expanding the selection for those with a sweet tooth -- we're talking a full dessert bar with everything from whoopie pies, truffles, cupcakes, candies, along with local delicacies like fried Oreos or black-and-white cookies. The dessert bar can double as your wedding favor by setting out plastic bags or boxes for your guests to take a snack for the road.

10. Relax -- seriously.

Planning a wedding can be stressful, but when the day arrives, everyone will have more fun if you can overlook any little mishaps (and there's always something that goes slightly awry) and let loose. Think about it: Do you have fun at parties where the host is incessantly on edge? To avoid sabotaging your good mood, assign any last-minute tasks to a bridesmaid, relative, or your wedding planner -- and designate a friend who, if they observe you getting stressed, will ply you with a cocktail or two.

Wedding Planning: 8 Wedding Planning Tips to Get Organized reposted from the knot

Has planning the wedding left you feeling overwhelmed? Here are eight tips to get yourself organized!

Photo: Blackdog Imageworks, LLC

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Ask any newlywed couple -- even couples that have been married for a long time -- and they'll all say the same thing: The key to a planning successful wedding (read: a wedding that goes smoothly, without any major glitches) is in the planning. Small things go wrong at every wedding. But keep in mind that you can save yourself from migraine headaches and crying spells by making a plan and simply sticking with it. These simple wedding planning tips will help you take some of the stress away (or at least minimize it!).

Get as much done as possible in the first few months so that the last few months won't be hectic.

Lose the Laziness

One mistake that many couples make is basking in the glow of their engagement until 4-6 months before their wedding date. Then they try to cram all of the planning into a too-short period of time. Of course you should just sit back and be thrilled about your engagement for a while, but then you've gotta get cracking!

Buy a Calendar or Datebook

Once you determine your wedding date, set specific dates by which you want to get things accomplished. For example, you got engaged in June, and your wedding date is April 24. On August 31, mark in that you want to have the ceremony location and reception hall reserved. Try to get as much done as possible in the first few months so that the last few months won't be hectic.

Set Aside Time

Choose a day of the week when you'll focus on the wedding details, or several days if you're pressed for time. Sit down together and plan. This eliminates confusion -- i.e., the groom thinking he's supposed to call and check on hall rentals when the bride already has it narrowed down to what will suit their needs.

Share Duties

This is the best way to get things done. You both should be involved every step of the way. Make a list of details to be taken care of, then divide the list in half. Each of you choose what you want to do. This will make grooms want to be involved, instead of making them feel like they have to help. Sure, your sweetie probably isn't concerned with exactly which flowers you carry. And maybe you're not picky about what tuxedos he and the guys wear (or maybe you are!). But involving your husband-to-be will make him feel that it's his wedding, too -- something he helped plan, not just something he has to show up at. Which brings us to...

Talk, Talk, Talk

We can't stress this enough. Be sure that if you're sharing duties that you're also sharing the details. It's okay to take care of certain things by yourself, just make sure you're telling each other about it so the caterer isn't contracted with twice!

Be Flexible

Okay. So you really didn't want the groom/ushers in those tails and top hats. And maybe he doesn't want the cake to be lemon with pecan icing (!). Each of you is going to want things that the other doesn't care for, but flexibility is a must. Be willing to bend. If you really object to something, let your objection be duly heard and noted. Just give the other person a chance to explain why he/she really wants to arrive at the reception in a hot tub in the back of the limo.

Details, Contracts, and Negotiations

When dealing with wedding professionals (caterers, florists, etc.), be sure to clarify all the details and your expectations during the initial discussions. Make sure you get a contract specifically stating dates, times, and locations. Be sure to include what you feel is appropriate dress, and what you feel isn't. Spell out everything. Try to negotiate the best deal for goods and services, but don't sell yourself short on important things just to get a better price.
Most importantly, be sure to read the fine print on every contract before you sign it, and make sure you're aware of cancellation policies and fees. Also ask if there's a grace period to cancel just in case you change your mind or something happens and you need to postpone the wedding (you never know).

Stay Organized

This one's pretty obvious! The more organized you are, the less chance there is that something will go wrong. Buy a notebook, and keep all your wedding information in it. Receipts, contracts, ideas -- everything. You might also want to get notebooks for your maid of honor/bridesmaids and the best man. Put info such as dates, times, locations, and duties. This will keep everyone organized as well, and minimize the chance of someone missing a fitting date or rehearsal time.

-- The Knot

Bridesmaids: Choosing Dresses They'll Love

reposted from the knot

Of course the wedding is your day to shine, but you want your bridesmaids to look beautiful too! These tips will make theirs a positive fashion experience.

Photo: Kelly Brown Photography

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Listen up, brides. Don't attempt to dress your maids in some puffy-sleeved, kelly green, satin-and-lace confection that makes them look pallid, plump, and sexless. (Trust us, it's been done.) Try to remember that these are your bestest friends in the whole world, and since they are most likely paying for them, it would be great it they could wear their outfits again.
Here are some dos, don'ts, and basic truths to consider when choosing your bridesmaid dresses:

Don't jump on a trend without thinking of how your friends will look and feel.

Do Try to find a style and color that is flattering to the different sizes and skin tones of your bridesmaids.Do Try to keep the price at something that everyone can afford. $200 is a good figure to keep in mind, but if you can do it for less, everyone will be happier.
Do Consider letting your bridesmaids wear clothing of their own choice. What you lose in uniformity will be made up for in comfort and happiness, which will be apparent in the way they carry themselves and smile. A variation on this theme is to let them wear dresses of their own choosing as long as they are a certain color.
Do Consider dress length: Formal and semiformal weddings call for long, ballerina-length, or tea-length dresses. At an informal or daytime wedding, bridesmaid dresses can be the same length as the bride's dress, short or long.

A Few More Words of Advice:

Do consider body types -- if one maid is voluptuous, another's rail-thin and yet another is tiny and boyish, you can't wedge them all into something skin-tight or cleavage-revealing. Very few figures are flattered by a big old contrasting-color bow on the butt or hundreds of tiny, ballooning pleats. Simple, elegant designs are the most flattering to all figures.
Don't put everyone in seafoam green, sweetie. Perhaps you have your wedding colors in mind, but are these really colors you would ask your friends to wrap themselves in? Be careful about colors that rarely occur in nature, or only on football uniforms. Remember, some colors are truly neutral -- navy blue and even black are good choices for formal weddings.
Do remember your friends aren't filthy rich. They don't buy dresses that look terrible on them and toss them out after one occasion, just for laughs. Think about dresses they could REALLY wear again.
Above all, you want your friends to like you before, during, and after the ceremony. Our best advice: Don't jump on a trend without thinking of how your friends will feel and look.

-- The Knot

Marriage Proposals: 50 Romantic Ways to Propose

reposted from the knot

Read on for 50 great marriage proposal ideas, or skip to the type of proposal you think fits best.

Photo: Veer

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Marriage on your mind? She'll be telling the story of how you proposed to friends and strangers for the rest of her life, so put your own spin on one of these ideas to make sure it's memorable. (Hint: If you haven’t found the ring yet, check out our ring photo gallery.)

Best Public Marriage Proposal Ideas

1. Have a flair for the dramatic? Get in touch with the stage manager of an appropriately themed production and propose after the cast's curtain call.
2. Take out a full-page ad in a newspaper you know your girlfriend reads daily.
3. Arrange a surprise proposal with a street caricaturist. Have him sketch a picture of you two with word bubbles. Yours will read, "Will you marry me?" and hers will say, "Yes!"
4. Pay the divers at an aquarium to put on a proposal show inside their biggest fish tank. Give them a handwritten sign that says, "Will you marry me?" to hold up against the glass.
5. Send your girlfriend on a treasure hunt. Start with a clue at home; then send her on a tour of your favorite spots all over town. When she gets to the last hint, the prize should be you on one knee.
6. Go out for a night of dancing and ask the DJ or bandleader to pass you the mic so you can dedicate a song and propose on the dance floor.
7. Hire a skywriter to spell out your proposal for everyone around to see.
8. Flying anytime soon? Use the plane's loudspeaker system (of course, run your plan by the flight attendants first) and propose at 35,000 feet.
9. Movie buffs? Ask your neighborhood theater to run an ad featuring your proposal and make sure you get there in time for the previews.
10. Gather a bunch of your friends and family for a party. Have everyone in attendance put on a T-shirt bearing one of the letters in the phrase "Will you marry me?" When you walk into the room with your girlfriend, suggest a group picture and let the shirts speak for themselves.
> The best marriage proposal videos ever

Best At-Home Marriage Proposal Ideas

11. For a simple surprise, after she goes to bed, go to her jewelry box and replace her everyday ring with the engagement ring. She'll be completely shocked in the morning when she goes to put on her regular ring.
12. Write her a love note with the proposal at the end of it. Tuck it into her favorite book or the one she happens to be reading at the moment, and when she finds the note, surprise her with the ring.
13. Turn off all the lights in your apartment and make a trail of candles that leads to a circle of votives positioned around the ring.
14. Slip the ring on her finger while she's sleeping and wake her with champagne and strawberries. At first, the gesture will simply seem romantic -- the real surprise comes when she notices her new piece of jewelry.
15. Tie a red-velvet ribbon from one spot in your home to another. Attach little notes recalling perfect moments in your relationship along the way. You wait at the last stop, ring in hand.
> 9 most romantic places in the world to propose

Best Tech Marriage Proposal Ideas

16. Create your own podcast proposal and sneak it onto her iPod.
17. Upload a video of your proposal to YouTube (tell her you have a hysterical home movie to show her).
18. Steal her digital camera and head to her favorite local outdoor spot. Bring a friend with you and have posters made with the words "will," "you," "marry" and "me?" Have your friend photograph you holding each one in a different position. Then, let her know you borrowed her camera and ask her to upload the photos.
19. Take the scavenger hunt high-tech: Send your mate a text message leading her to a secret spot. Keep her engaged by text messaging her sweet nothings along the way (and directions, of course) as you lead her to you, on bended knee.
20. Create a web page declaring your love and intentions. Leave your sweetie a clue with the web address written on it -- don't say a word. After the proposal has been officially accepted (which, of course, it will be!), she can proudly send the page to friends and family.
21. Set up a live-stream channel (on Ustream.com) and invite all your friends and family to watch the proposal live from wherever you choose to propose!

Best Foodie Marriage Proposal Ideas

22. Make the box holding her ring a selection on the dessert tray at your favorite restaurant.
23. Put together a gift basket of yummy delicacies -- the best chocolate or coffee -- and hide the ring among the presents (in its box, so it doesn't get lost in the goodies).
24. Ask the pastry chef to write, "Will you marry me?" in chocolate sauce around the rim of her dessert plate.
25. Ask a baker to make a cake with the proposal written in frosting. Have him display it in the storefront and suggest a little window-shopping to your girlfriend.
26. Create a personalized fortune cookie with your own proposal message.

Most Playful Marriage Proposal Ideas

27. Create your own crossword puzzle and be prepared to help her work it out over breakfast.
28. Spell your proposal out in glow-in-the-dark star stickers on your ceiling. Get into bed, turn the lights off and wait for the inevitable gasp.
29. Spell out your proposal with refrigerator magnets.
30. Sneak into her office or classroom before she gets there and write your proposal on her desk or on the blackboard. Stay hiding in the coat closet or right outside the room until she arrives.
31. Get a ring size chart and ask your girlfriend to look up her size. When she accuses you of ruining the surprise that you're shopping for a ring, say, "Okay, try this one instead," and show her that you've already shopped for a ring.
32. Play hangman and have the phrase be "Marry me."
> 6 spins on classic proposal ideas

Best Fall and Winter Marriage Proposal Ideas

33. During your annual Halloween prep, challenge her to a pumpkin-carving contest and carve the words "Marry me" into your pumpkin.
34. Write, "Will you marry me?" on the underside of a kite and take flight one warm, breezy afternoon.
35. Have a friend or family member set up a picnic -- complete with wine and cheese, of course -- for you in a park. Take your girlfriend for a hike on a route where you'll stumble upon this surprise proposal picnic.
36. Scratch your proposal into the frost on her car's windshield.

Best Spring and Summer Marriage Proposal Ideas

37. Propose in a flower or botanic garden when everything is in bloom.
38. Gather your families together for a barbecue and make it a family affair.
39. Go to the beach and casually build a sand castle (at a safe distance from the ocean!), and place the ring on the highest turret. Then invite her to admire your handiwork.
40. Make your own message in a bottle. On the night before a beach day you've planned, write a love poem on a piece of parchment paper, roll it into an antique bottle with a cork and bury it in a well-marked spot in the sand near your towels. Be sure you "find" the bottle as you dig together -- and have the ring at the ready.
> Holiday and New Year’s proposal ideas
> Valentine’s Day proposal ideas

Most Thoughtful Marriage Proposal Ideas

41. If you're artistically inclined or just like to make things with your own two hands, integrate something you've made into the proposal. For example, if you have woodworking skills, present the ring in a special hand-carved jewelry box.
42. Buy a pet that she’s always wanted (bunny, kitten, puppy) and loosely tie the ring around its neck. Or substitute a stuffed animal -- still cute, but less maintenance!
43. Tell your girlfriend you want to make a time capsule together to bury and dig up years into the future. As you're gathering the items, say it wouldn't be complete without a picture of the moment you two got engaged! Have a camera ready to take that shot right after you present her with the ring.
44. Rent a Vespa scooter and invite your girlfriend for a ride, but remind her to be safe and wear a helmet. Hand her the helmet (with the ring box already in it), and then you can zip around town to celebrate!
45. Meet for a drink at a posh hotel bar. When it's time to go, casually mention that you've already reserved a room for the night. When you open the hotel room door, have roses, candles and champagne all set up -- everything for a perfect surprise proposal.
> Destination proposal pointers

Cheesy (but Hilarious) Proposal Ideas

46. Make a list of 10 reasons you'd like to marry your beloved. Read them to her in front of a crowd, have them delivered via singing telegram or send them written on individual note cards over the course of a day (or 10!), with the last card arriving by personal messenger (you!).
47. Want to really surprise your girlfriend? Cut out the bottom of a huge refrigerator box, wrap it with pretty paper and ribbon, and attach a card that says, "What's inside the box is a gift to last a lifetime." "Deliver" yourself to her office or front door.
48. Make her ring the surprise in a box of Cracker Jack.
49. Make her feel like a movie star and set your proposal to the scene of her favorite romantic movie. You could arrange your own Pretty Woman moment (the finale, of course): Rent a white limo and climb through the moonroof with flowers in hand to proclaim your love as you arrive at her place.
50. Another funny movie proposal? Steal from that famous Say Anything scene: Park yourself outside her house with a stereo blaring your favorite tune and propose on the front lawn.

-- The Knot

12 Tips to Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

reposted from the Knot

The key to crafting the perfect wedding vows? Just take it one word at a time.

Photo: The Art of Emotion

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Penning your own wedding vows is no easy task -- it’s like writing poetry, public speaking and having the deepest conversation of your life all at once. Putting your promises on paper is an emotional, eye-opening and often extremely memorable experience. Up for the challenge? Here's the homework you need to do (and the questions you should ask) to make your vows perfect.

Get Clearance

Make sure your ceremony officiant will actually allow personalized vows. Certain celebrants and houses of worship may require you to recite a specific set of traditional vows. And remember: Even some of the most accommodating officiants will want to review your words in advance.

Start Early

We can't say this enough: Don't leave writing your vows until the day before the wedding! You'll be too nervous, excited and rattled to give them the time and thought they deserve. Give yourselves at least a month, or work on your vows in that pocket of time after you've set up all your major vendors and before you have to start thinking about the details. Vow writing should be done in a relaxed, not rushed, frame of mind. Some loose deadlines to aim for: Try to get a first draft together about three weeks before the wedding and have your final version completed at least two days out.

Look to Tradition

To get inspired, start by reading traditional, by-the-book vows -- from your own religion, if you practice a certain faith, but others, as well -- to see what strikes a chord with you. You can incorporate these into the original words you write, or simply use them as a jumping-off point to base your personalized vows on.

Set the Tone

Before putting pen to paper, decide what overall tone you want to achieve. Humorous but touching? Poetic and romantic? It's your call -- the most important thing is that your vows ring true and sound like they're from your heart. One word of advice: While your vows can be lighthearted (or even hilarious), they should, in some way, acknowledge the seriousness of the commitment you're about to make. One way to do that is to weave little jokes into traditional vows (for example: "I promise to love you, cherish you and always watch Monday Night Football with you").

Figure Out the Logistics

Make sure you and your fiance are both on the same page. Are you each going to write your own vows, or will you write them together? If you're writing them separately, will you want to run them by each other before the wedding? If you're writing them together, will they be completely different for each of you, or will you recite some of the same words and make the same promises to each other, as you would with traditional vows? If you want them to be a surprise on your wedding day, make sure you both send a copy of what you've written to your officiant or to one friend or family member so they can check that your vows are about the same length and similar in tone.

Make a Vow Date

When it's time to come up with the actual content of your vows, go out to dinner or set aside an evening at home to brainstorm. Talk about your relationship and what marriage means to each of you. Discuss what you expect from each other and the relationship. What are you most looking forward to about married life? Why did you decide to get married? What hard times have you gone through together? What have you supported each other through? What challenges do you envision in your future? What do you want to accomplish together? What makes your relationship tick? Answering these questions will help you make and keep your promises, and talking about your bond may expose your inner Wordsworth and help you come up with phrases and stories you can incorporate into your vows.

Schedule Some Alone Time

After chatting with your future spouse, take some self-reflection time to think about how you feel about your partner. What did you think when you first saw them? When did you realize you were in love? What do you most respect about your partner? How has your life gotten better since meeting your mate? What about them inspires you? What do you miss most about them when you're apart? What qualities do you most admire in each other? What do you have now that you didn't have before you met? You may be surprised how these answers may lead you to the perfect words.

Steal Ideas

Borrow freely from poetry, books, religious and spiritual texts -- even from romantic movies. Jot down words and phrases that capture your feelings. Widely recognized works ring true for a reason.

Create an Outline

An outline can get you started by helping to establish a structure. For example, plan to first talk about how great your fiance is and then about how you work together as a couple; pause to quote your favorite writer and then go into your promises to each other.

Remember Your Audience

Don't make your vows so personal that they're cryptic -- or embarrassing! You've invited your family and friends to witness your vows in order to make your bond public, so be sure everyone feels included in the moment. That means putting a limit on inside jokes, deeply personal anecdotes and obscure nicknames or code words.

Time It Right

Don't make them too long -- aim for about one minute or so (it's longer than it sounds!). Your vows are the most important element of your ceremony, but that doesn't mean they should go on for hours. Get at the heart of what marrying this person means to you with your vows; pick the most important points and make them well. Save some thoughts for the reception toasts -- and for the wedding night.

Practice Out Loud (Seriously!)

These are words meant to be heard by a live audience, so check that they sound good when spoken. Read your vows out loud to make sure they flow easily. Watch out for tongue twisters and super-long sentences -- you don't want to get out of breath or stumble.

Wedding Planning: 30 Expert Tips and Tricks reposted from the Knot http://wedding.theknot.com

 

 Article reposted from the Knot

http://wedding.theknot.com

Wedding Planning: 30 Expert Tips and Tricks

Want to be certain all your wedding planning bases are covered? Read the tips that no bride should be without.

When planning your wedding, there are things that are nice to know, like that mermaid silhouettes are all the rage or that purple is making a comeback. Then, there are things you need to know -- advice so essential that any bride who's lucky enough to hear it thinks, "I'm so glad someone told me that!" If you're wondering whether there's something you may have missed (or even if you've got everything under control), check out our indispensable planning secrets.

1. Guests Come First

Get a grip on the approximate number of guests you'll invite before settling on a venue. This will ensure there's ample space for your crew. As a rule of thumb, allow for 25 to 30 square feet per guest. That may seem like a lot, but it's not if you count the space you'll need for the tables, bustling waiters, the band, and the dance floor. > Start your wedding guest list here.

2. Investigate Wedding Blackout Dates

Know ahead of time if your wedding date falls on the same day as a trade conference, charity walk, or other local event that could affect traffic and hotel room availability.

> Click here for wedding dates to avoid.

3. Listen to Mother Nature

Heed the weather and other potential annoyances. Guests have been known to skip out early from hotter-than-hot summer tent weddings and improperly heated winter loft receptions. Bugs (gnats, deerflies, and no-see-ums) also swarm in certain areas during certain seasons. Consider renting pest control tanks to alleviate the problem or including bug repellent in guests' gift bags. And if you want a sunset ceremony, make sure you know when to say your vows by checking SunriseSunset.com.

4. Check Your Credit

Take advantage of the high cost of weddings and sign up for a credit card with a rewards program. Whether it gives you airline miles or great shopping deals, consolidating all wedding-related purchases to this card will help you accumulate thousands of rewards points (which could be used for your honeymoon).

5. Pay It Forward

Let one vendor lead you to another. Your wedding photographer can tell you which florist's blooms really pop, and your reception manager should know which band packs the dance floor.

Let one vendor lead you to another. Your photographer can tell you which florist's blooms really pop, and your reception manager should know which band packs the dance floor.

6. Lighten Your List

The easiest way to trim your wedding budget? Cut your guest list. Remember, half of your wedding expenses go to wining and dining your guests. If it's costing you $100 per person, eliminating one table of 10 can save you $1,000.

7. Ask and You Might Receive

Request an extra hour for cocktails or for your band to throw in that Frank Sinatra sound-alike before you sign on the dotted line. Most vendors would rather secure the reservation than nickel-and-dime you early on and turn you off. Later on, though, they may have less of a motive to meet you halfway.

8. Make a Meal Plan

Another unforeseen expense? Feeding your wedding day crew. Before you sign the contracts, make sure you're not required to serve the same meal to your vendors that guests will receive. Otherwise, you could be paying for 20 additional lobster tails. Choose a less expensive (but equally hearty) meal for them instead. You will have to let your wedding caterer know a couple of days before the wedding exactly how many vendors you need to feed (don't forget photography assistants and band roadies) and what you want them to serve.

9. Get Organizationally Focused

In a three-ring binder, compile all your correspondences with vendors, notes you make during meetings, and photos or tear sheets from magazines you want vendors to see. Set up a special email address dedicated to your wedding, and store important vendor numbers in your cell phone.

10. Tend to Your Bar

Typically, you need one bartender per 50 guests to keep the line at a minimum. But if you're serving a signature cocktail that cannot be made ahead of time (or in large quantities), consider adding an extra server designated to this task.

11. Leave Some Room in Your Wallet

Your wedding budget should follow this formula: 48 to 50 percent of total budget to reception; 8 to 10 percent for flowers; 8 to 10 percent for attire; 8 to 10 percent for entertainment/music; 10 to 12 percent for photo/video; 2 to 3 percent for invites; 2 to 3 percent for gifts; and 8 percent for miscellaneous items like a wedding coordinator. It's essential to allocate an extra 5 to 10 percent of your money for surprise expenses like printing extra invites because of mistakes, additional tailoring needs, umbrellas for a rainy day, and ribbons for the wedding programs. Go to TheKnot.com/budgeter for an interactive budget allows you to add your own items.

12. Don't Be Afraid to Ask

Your wedding vendors should be your go-to, most-trusted experts during the planning process. When working with them, you should feel free to really explore what it is you want -- maybe it's serving a late-night snack instead of a first course or doing a bridal portrait session rather than an engagement session. The bottom line is that you should feel like you can have an honest conversation with them about what it is you want. Their job will be to tell you what you can and can't make work given your wedding budget.

13. Wait for a Date

Sometimes, last-minute planning can work in your favor. The closer your date, the more bargaining power you have. Since most people book their wedding sites at least six months in advance, calling for open dates two months prior to your desired time can save you up to 25 percent. And, Friday and Sunday weddings should cost about 30 percent less than Saturday weddings.

14. Manage the Mail

Of course you want the perfect stamps for your wedding invitations. But not all stamps are widely available at every post office, especially in large quantities. Save yourself scouting time by ordering them online at USPS.com. And be sure to weigh your invitation and all the additional paper products before you send them out so you can attach the right amount of postage. Ask your stationer about the need for additional postage for odd-shaped envelopes.

15. Prepare for Rejection

Know that as a rule, about 30 percent of the people you invite won't attend. Naturally, this depends on the location of your wedding (destination weddings are harder to attend), how many out-of-towners are on your list, and the timing of the event (some guests may have annual holiday or summer plans). On the other hand, everyone could accept -- knowing your wedding will be the can't-miss party of the year!

16. Make a Uniform Kids Policy

You have four choices: You can welcome children with open arms; you can decide to have an "adults only" wedding; you can include immediate family only; or, you can hire a child care service to provide day care either at the reception space, in a hotel room, or in a family member's home. To prevent hurt feelings, it's wise to avoid allowing some families to bring children while excluding others (unless, of course, the children are in your bridal party).

17. Prioritize Your People

Pare down your guest list with the "tiers of priority" trick. Place immediate family, the bridal party, and best friends on top of the list; follow with aunts, uncles, cousins, and close friends you couldn't imagine not being there. Under that, list your parents' friends, neighbors, coworkers, and so on. If you need to make some cuts, start from the bottom until you reach your ideal number.

18. Take It One Step at a Time

Put together a wedding planning schedule and do things one by one, in a logical order, so you don't take on too much too fast and end up with everything snowballing around you. Don't hire any vendors before you've confirmed your date; don't design your cake before you've envisioned your flowers; and don't book a band before you've settled on a space.

19. No Ring, No Bring

If your guest list is bursting at the seams, assess the plus-one scenario. Do a faux seating chart in your mind, and imagine whom your single pal would sit with. If it's a table of singles that she knows pretty well, then you're all set. If it's a table of couples (making her the odd one out) or if it's a table of singles where she won't know anyone, consider bending the rules. If asked why you're not allowing single friends to bring guests, size constraints or your parents' never-ending guest list are always good fallback white lies.

20. Release Rooms

As soon as you have picked a date, start to look for hotels in a wide variety of price points. Many hotels allow you to reserve rooms for guests under a special wedding block and a reduced rate. You can then release any unbooked rooms a month prior to your wedding. If the hotels you contact insist upon contracts with cancellation penalties, just say no -- you don't want to be responsible for rooms you can't fill.

21. Provide Accurate Driving Directions

Make sure guests know where they're going. As easy as online map programs are to use, sometimes the directions are wrong -- or there's a quicker, less traffic-prone route to take. Ask your ceremony and reception sites for printouts of recommended driving directions, which they often keep in stock for weddings and will give to you for free, and test out the routes yourself.

22. Keep a Paper Trail

Get any nonstandard changes to your agreements in writing or send the vendor a confirmation email saying, "Hello, just confirming that you'll keep the venue open until 2 a.m. versus midnight." Don't take anyone on his word -- by the time the big day rolls around, your contact may no longer be working there to vouch for you.

23. Schedule the Setup

You must make sure there's ample time for setup. If you're renting a venue and bringing in outside help, ask, "What time can people come in to set things up?" Preston Bailey, author of Preston Bailey's Fantasy Weddings, recommends seeing if they can do it the day before, or at the very least the entire wedding day, before the event starts.

24. Learn About Marriage Licenses

You can check your state's license requirements online, but confirm with a call to the county clerk's office to see when they're open. Even if it's open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., they may issue marriage licenses only during slower times like, say, Thursdays from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. Give a copy of your marriage license to your mom or your maid of honor (just in case you lose yours during the final days before your wedding).

25. Go Over Ground Rules

Be prepared! Ask the manager of the house of worship or site where you'll be married for the list of restrictions (if any). For instance, is flash photography or bare shoulders prohibited? Or, if you're exchanging vows outdoors, are you allowed to plant tent stakes in the lawn (which is often a no-no)?

26. Classify Your Cash

Wedding budgets are all about balance. Start your budget planning by making a list of the crucial details, like the music, your wedding gown, the invitations, the flowers, and the photographer, and assign a number to each -- one being the most important and three being the least. Invest your money in all your number ones and cut corners on your number threes. (But everything can't fall into the number one category!) For example, if a designer gown and fabulous food are what really matter, you may have to choose simple invitations and smaller floral arrangements.

27. Help Guests Pay Attention

Make sure your guests can see -- and hear. If people are seated farther than 15 rows back from your ceremony altar or podium, consider renting a mic and a riser. This could range anywhere from $50 to $100, depending on the equipment used. You'll need to coordinate the delivery and setup with your ceremony space, so put your wedding planner or best man in charge of this task.

28. Write Down Your Digits

Carry an emergency contact sheet on your wedding day. Keep the paper with names and phone numbers of all your vendors in your purse -- it may come in handy in case your limo driver gets lost or you decide you'd like your photographer to take some behind-the-scenes shots.

29. Call the Fashion Police

Don't go dress shopping on your own -- all the gowns will start to look the same after a while and it will be harder to recall which style you really loved. But be careful about who you do bring. If your mom or sibling can't make the trip, ask a friend who is truly honest. This is the time when you really need to know which dress looks best.

30. Be Realistic With Your Time

When it comes down to the last month of your planning (and when you're particularly harried) look at your mile long to-do list and cut three things. Yes, cut three things. Not crucial things that you just don't feel like doing, such as picking a processional song or confirming final details with all of your vendors. Eliminate only the over-the-top tasks like hand-painting "Just Married" signs, or baking cookies for all of the welcome bags. Make a pledge to not think about them ever again.

-- The Knot